Hurricane Katrina Bush

George Bush just proved what a heartless wretch of a man he really is. Did you notice how long it took him to get to New Orleans to put his arm around a couple of victims for a photo op? Actually, I'll bet that he had a part of Washington DC flooded and looted on purpose, brought in a couple of "professional victims", and shot the whole thing in his own back yard. He never really went to the devastated area. THAT RAT!!!

I'll betcha that Bill Clinton would have been there a whole day or two sooner than Bush was, AND he would have wept too. Yes sir, Bill Clinton would have cried real tears for the cameras. He is amazing. Bill Clinton, in a moment of quiet thoughtfulness, and captured by the cameras of course, would have probably found a couple of pieces of debris somewhere that he could fashion into the shape of a cross to be laid amongst the rubble, later to become a national monument. Bawling his eyes out the whole time of course. What a guy.

But Bush, no, no, he only flew by in that big jet of his that his rich oil buddies bough for him. No, wait! That son of a gun made US pay for his plane, and he took all that time to get to the devastation. Yea, right. Oh sure, he's planning "another" visit, but I saw him on TV. He had that ever present GWB smirk on his face. I could tell, just as the rest of the world could tell, he was enjoying the suffering around him. He probably planned that hurricane just to give himself something to do this week. THAT'S IT! He planned that hurricane with the Russians. KATRINA, get it? And last year too. Remember IVAN? Oh this is too good. I think we really have him now. How much more proof do you right wing nut jobs need???

I better be careful here. If Bush knows I know this stuff he'll have someone find me and scan my brain to find out what else I'm thinking. Where's that aluminum foil??? There it is, the heavy duty stuff. Perfect! This hat should prevent him from finding me and turning me into a hurricane too. Hurricane Johnny, yea, that's what he'll do. He'll sell me to the Russians, turn me into a hurricane, and send me out to smash another part of the great country.

Don't even get me started about $3.20 gasoline. How do you think Bush's gonna to pay for that hurricane?

I feel so lost. Is someone knocking on my closet door? HELLO! OH MY GOD, THERE'S A FOOT STICKING OUT FROM UNDER MY BED...!!!??? GET AWAY FROM ME, I HAVE A HAT ON....

Sorry T

What to say when the other person is talking and you know they're full of crap

I was with friends in New York recently, and this subject came up. My buddy, Dave, told me how he used to say, "You might be right", to some senior citizen friends of his when he knew they were completely off in left field somewhere. He didn't want to offend them, but he wanted to say something, and if he could make it sound like a compliment, even better. During the weekend we all came up with a few more useful exclaimations to be used in the same situations. Remember now, the other person must be saying something that you know to be absolutely false, but you don't necessarily wish to offend them by correcting them.

"You might be right"

"Really" (With vigor. Like you're giving them a chance to take it back.)

"I didn't know that"

"That's interesting"

"Huh!" (With the tone of mild amazement can be used in conjunction with any of the others. It's an exclamation, not a question.)

"I hadn't heard that before just now"

I've got a bunch of them, I just can't think of them all right now. If you want to add some, just send them in a comment.